I was talking to a good friend on the phone today and he made a very profound point. If you pray for patience, God does not gift you with patience. He gives you a situation in which you have the choice how you will react; whether that is patience or not. He gives you situations where you are stretched with the intent that you will grow and become more like Him. But we don't just get a free hand out. 

I have prayed to be bold and God does not just zap me with “boldness” he puts me in situations where I have a choice to be comfortable or uncomfortable, and when I choose uncomfortable I am one step closer to being “bolder.” This is something I am learning in regards to support raising. I pray that God will grow my faith and yet I complain when support raising is hard or get anxious when the money doesn’t come in as fast I hoped. But I am learning something very valuable and that is complete trust. Complete abandon; which some days can be painful. But it is worth it. 

Tomorrow I am going on a road trip with my family. We are driving all the way to Ontario from Missouri where we will stay in cabins in the wilderness. There will be no internet and no phone service. Just me, my family and the wilderness. My first reaction (and my parents can tell you about the face I made when I found out) was to think about support raising and how I need my computer and I need my phone, and I became very tense very fast. But then I felt God asking me if I trust him, and I felt like I doubted a very valuable gift. And it is silly not to believe that he wants the best for me, he has provided so much already and in immeasurable ways. And yet I am a little nervous, to be honest. 

So here I go. Off to Canada where my faith will be tested. And yet I know that God is faithful and I have so much hope.