I know less than I thought (Part 2)

I know less than I thought (Part two) 

 

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3

 

I stand in rags at the thrown 

Very aware of my dirty face 

Yet the king is smiling 

No sign of disgrace 

I tremble at his beauty 

Weeping, I fall at his feet 

What can I possibly do 

for someone who died for me? 

 

 

Thank you for being of this process with me as I wrestle with what it means to be poor in spirit. As I confessed in the first part of this blog, I do not have the answers but God has taken me on a journey and as I have been encouraged by many of you, I hope this can evoke your thoughts and encourage you all as well. 

 

Poverty is the condition of having little. Those stuck in poverty are aware of their condition, they live in it and are reminded of it daily. I would guess that those who live in poverty have a deeper level of thankfulness for basic things that I take for granted all of the time. I don’t know what it is like to wonder when my next meal will be or where I will find shelter at night. Those who are stuck in poverty know their dependence, they know that their bodies need food and what it is like to not have it. And those who are able to escape poverty most likely have a higher level of appreciate in general. 

 

Thinking about poverty and how it relates to my spirit took me face to face with the cross. It is easy to forget or to grow accustomed to hearing about the death of Jesus and the sacrifice he made on our behalf. We can’t let that happen! The reality is that He suffered more than we could ever understand or imagine in order to secure life and restoration for everyone. He came down from the thrown to the Lord’s footstool and he died for all of the footstool dwellers and in the most humble way. 

 

The truth is that we all nailed Jesus to the cross. We are all responsible for his suffering and yet Jesus does not ask us to serve him out of guilt, all he wants is for us to choose him. If all Jesus did for us was to die and rise again that would be way more than enough. What is so wonderful about Jesus is that he does not stop there, he actively pursues, restores, redeems and blesses us daily. 

 

So why do I have a spirit of entitlement so often? Why do I so quickly forget the weight of Jesus dying for me? That fact should rock my world every day and should be reflected in all of my actions. I should start every morning at his feet, humble and thankful and ready to serve him with everything. I need to recognize the condition of my flesh and my sin nature. Pride so easily gets in the way and blinds me. I want to learn how to posture my heart in humbleness. I want to see every breath I breathe as a gift and exude thankfulness with every word. 

 

Lord forgive me. There is no way to thank you for what you did for me and yet you do not hold that against me. Thank you for loving me as much as you do. Help me to worship you with my life. Thank you Lord. 

 

God does not need me 

but he wants me 

I belong to him and 

yet he allows me to choose him 

He does not ask for dry rituals 

to pay back the price he paid

He sent his son to the grave

with the intention to save…me 

All he wants is my love 

freely and surely 

He can work without me 

but he chose to work through me 

In my humanness I am messy 

but a treasure is what he sees 

He says that his grace and 

mercy are sufficient for me 

What can I do to pay back this king? 

His blood was poured out in return for a ring 

For I am his bride and I 

freely believe 

So I want my life to be worship, 

through every breath that I breathe

 

 

If you have time, read this passage written by C.S.Lewis in Mere Christianity: 

 

"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first -wanting to be the center- wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. . . . What Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they could 'be like gods'- could set up on their own as if they had created themselves- be their own master- invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history- money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery- the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy. 

 

The reason why it can never succeed is this. God made us: invented us as a man invents an engine. A car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else. Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other. That is why it is just no good asking God to make us happy in our own way without bothering about religion. God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing. 

 

That is the key to history, Terrific energy is expended- civilizations are built up- excellent institutions are devised; but each time something goes wrong. Some fatal flaw always brings the selfish and cruel people to the top and it all slides back into misery and ruin. In fact, the machine conks. It seems to start up all right and runs a few yards, and then it breaks down. They are trying to run it on the wrong juice. That is what Satan has done to us humans."