Prayer
Sometimes it is hard to know what to write when there is soooo much on my heart. So for now, I thought I would share a prayer I wrote in my journal. I will write more soon.
Lord, you did not call me to Cambodia to be comfortable. Growth happens in the mist of discomfort. You care about my heart and what flows from it. Make that my concern. Mold me to be more like you…
You are breaking my heart for what breaks yours. How many times have I prayed for that in the past? But as my heart breaks on a daily basis by what I see I pray that you will hold my heart. I know I can’t carry these burdens on my own.
You and I are in a dance together in the middle of complete brokenness and crisis. But I refuse to turn away from your face. I will keep my eyes and heart transfixed on you. Instead of looking at the orphan children, the women in the bars, and the men with hopelessness I will look for you.
Instead of grieving the conditions of Cambodia I will choose to find hope. Help me to to see you in this place. Help me to respond the way you would in every situation. Never let me become consumed with helplessness or legalism. Lead my steps. Lead my actions. Open my eyes.
Fill me up with you so that I can be poured out. Help me to learn how to approach your thrown. Thank you for always meeting me where I am and for being so completely faithful to me.
Grow my faith Lord. Help me to trust in you and your power. Please clean me on a daily basis. Flush anything out that is not you. Help my purpose to be from you. Take away any selfish motivation. Help me to place myself in a position daily before you so that you can transform me.
You are refining me in love. Thank you for pursuing me every day and for being there when I look for you and even when I forget to look.
"As my heart longs for flowing streams, so longs my soul for thee, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the Living God." Ps. 42: 1,2
Amen.
Thanks for choosing hope, Lauren. Thanks for pressing into the Lord’s heart.
Beautiful.
Lauren,
Praying that as he breaks your heart with the stuff of his heart, that you will find renewed strength, joy, and purpose. That the enemy will not weigh you down, but that God himself, will lift you up in joy and that this radiance-of his transforming life in yours – will draw people to you. Monks and beggars alike. (Aren’t we too often both monkish and beggars?) God is doing something in and through you and the team, Lauren. Your collective stories reveal this. And it is clear that he has brought the team(s) together for a purpose.
much love.
Beautiful prayer Lauren, I know every day tugs at your heartstrings, there’s just so much need that you are seeing. But God has placed you just where He wants you and He will give you His joy and His peace in every circumstance as He did for Paul. Praying for you.